Tres años pasado

I never would have thought three years ago that this would be so much more than some little fling. I hope that doesn't sound bad but its not like we knew what we were doing. I think that one night when we just cried in my car made me realize how different you were and are. I am amazed and happy that I found an amazing friend. Someone who cares, puts up with my crap, lets me cry on their shoulder, holds me when things get hard, listens to me and to top it all of is a genuinely good person. I know you have told me you look up to me, but I look up to you to. There are many qualities about you that I admire and respect. It was not until recently did I really admire how much you value your family. Family has never really been something I have been about for numerous reasons. You are lucky to have such a close and great one even if they are kind of crazy sometimes. I hope one day to have a family similar to yours in the fact that they value and respect their family.

I cried today more because I did not know how to say all of this even though I so desperately wanted to tell you. I thought of today as marking of a great friendship that for some reason I am still so scared of losing. I wish I knew exactly why I'm scared because I think there is something more to it than my simple famous quote of 'everyone has left, why should you stay?' Maybe it will take a while to find out, but I hope you are still around to learn it when I do. Thank you for everything, regardless of the pain something may have caused. In my eyes the happiness should always outweigh the sadness. Thanks for telling me that you care. I hope you know I always do.

No pierda mi roca

Thanks for being my rock. 

These last few months have been unbelievably rough on my body and heart. I don't remember ever being on this many medicines just to be able to get by day to day. But to be honest you are the best medicine. You almost always bring such a positive, caring attitude to whatever the situation maybe. And I so appreciate that. I honestly do not think I would have made it without such an amazing person to lend a shoulder to cry on and the most amazing hugs the world has ever seen. 

I know it seems like I am always crying or upset by something, but I think you caught me in a bad point of my life. I have always been that happy go lucky kinda girl. Most things don't have these kinda effects on me. I am not really sure what my deal is. I first thought that maybe it was because of the new surroundings but this is my 12th residence. I don't think that is the problem. I think its just that everything seem to be coming at me at the same time and its a lot harder to escape here or get Carena time. 

At home escaping was my everything because being at home was usually dull and boring. I threw myself into every activity possible so I could spend more time away from things I didn't like. I guess I need to find that here. I need to find those things that I can use to help me get away from stress. 

So, please just be patient with me. I know you are for the most part. I will get things together soon. Please don't stop being my rock.